I made a blog post a couple of weeks ago about purchasing a PS2 so I could experience games that I had missed as a consequence of my Nintendo snobbery. I've since completed Shadow of the Colossus and God of War and while I enjoyed both games, they didn't quite meet my expectations.
That got me thinking - what are the most overrated or overhyped games of all time? What titles routinely appear on people's "best 100 games of all time" lists despite being so-so compared to their own contemporaries?
Surprisingly, it wasn't a difficult task. I came up with a fair number of them before paring the list down to something manageable. I settled on a list of 13 unlucky but definitely overrated video games.
A caveat before I launch into it the list. Many of the games on this list are good. Fun even. But are they great? I say no. It is my humble opinion that each game on this list, from top to bottom, does not deserve the admiration, the respect, or the emotion that the gaming community affords them.
Without further ado, let's begin:
#13. NiGHTS Into Dreams - SaturnThe Sega Saturn was a 2D workhorse - easily the most powerful 2D video game console of all time. Unfortunately for Sega, the rest of the gaming world had jumped headlong into 3D gaming. A prime example of Sega's desperate scramble to remain relevant, NiGHTS was the first high profile game touted as being "2.5D", meaning that it toed the line between old-fashioned 2 dimensional games and the rising generation of 3 dimensional offerings. Nintendo offered Mario 64, Sony had Crash Bandicoot (who we'll get to in a minute), and Sega responded with NiGHTS.
In a nutshell, NiGHTS boils down to this...use the analog joystick to "fly" across a 2D landscape. Perform loop-de-loops and other tricks to fly through rings and collect stuff. That's...pretty much it.
Novel? Yeah, I suppose so. The sensation of flight is unique for a 2D platformer. But is this a classic gaming experience? Methinks not.
#12. Tomb Raider - Playstation 1One of the earliest third-person 3D action/adventure games, Tomb Raider was heavy on exploration, puzzle-solving, and gunplay. But let's be real about this. Tomb Raider only had two things going for it. Well, maybe three if you count Lara's butt-cheek hugging khaki shorts that must've been oh-so practical for all that adventuring in the jungle. Yes, this game was all about Lara and her assets. Had she been, say, an aging archaeologist in a fedora hat, would anyone even remember this game? I seriously doubt it.
#11. Metroid - NESFirst off, let me say that I am a huge fan of the Metroid mythos. I recognize the brilliance of Super Metroid (though I'm not personally a fan), I enjoyed the GBA Metroid offerings, and I absolutely love Metroid Prime (and Prime 3). That being said, the original Metroid, if we're all being honest with ourselves, is not a good game. Yes, it has a female lead character. Yes, it permits non-linear exploration of your environment. And yes, it has influenced game design in a way few games ever have. Were this a list of "most influencial" games of all time Metroid would almost certainly be near the top. Unfortunately, it's also near the top of this list of "most overrated" games because, it's just not a fun game.
#10. Legend of Zelda - NES
Don't get me wrong, the Legend of Zelda is good game. A great game even, especially for its time. But like Metroid, I feel that ole Zelda is more influential than classic. Have you tried playing it recently? Even for a retro gamer, it's painful to play an adventure game like this without the aid of modern conveniences like a map or a storyline. Again, I'm not saying it's a bad game. All I'm saying is that there's a bigger gap in quality between Zelda1 to Zelda3 than there is between Super Mario Bros to SMB3. It just hasn't aged well in my book.
#9. Donkey Kong Country - SNESAt its core, Donkey Kong Country is a so-so platformer released in an era when so-so platformers were a dime a dozen. What made DKC special was its impressive graphics, made possible using pre-rendered 3D graphics built on very expensive SGI super computers. There's no arguing that the graphics were impressive, but like so many of today's games, Donkey Kong Country's beauty was only skin deep. The game is just plain shallow, from it's floaty, imprecise controls to it's linear and downright boring level designs. DKC also made popular the "percent complete" game design that ranks up there with fetch-quests and rapid tapping as one of my least favorite things to do in a video game. I don't want to collect every stupid banana on every one of these mundane levels, thank your very much. Uggh. Mr. Miyamoto said it best, "Donkey Kong Country proves that players will put up with mediocre gameplay as long as the art is good." Amen to that brother.
#8. Earthbound - SNESEarthbound is the quintessential cult classic. It's adored by a precious few diehards and unknown to the rest of mankind. Even so, it routinely pops up on lists of "Best RPGs" or even "Best All-Time" lists. I do not understand the fanatical cult following that the game has developed over the years. I've played it and enjoy it, don't get me wrong, but it's in an Ed Wood-sort of way. It's so awkward - so bizarre that I feel compelled to laugh right along with it despite the fact that I don't understand the joke.
Bottom-line: Earthbound is a so-so RPG with awful graphics, a tiny roster of playable characters, a weak battle system, and way out-there storyline. Granted, it has some redeeming qualities, but there's nothing here to fawn over. As the comic book guy might say, "most...overrated RPG...ever."
#7. Shadow of the Colossus - Playstation 2Shadow of the Colossus is easily one of the best games on this list. But I'm telling you, it doesn't deserve all of the superlatives that are thrown at it. When reviewers discuss the game they use hushed tones as if they're describing Michelangelo's roof of the Sistine Chapel. They speak as if playing SotC is some sort of deeply religious experience. It's a video game for crying out loud! And not an involved one at that.
For those who haven't played it, Shadow of the Colossus is 16 boss battles - nothing more and nothing less. There s literally nothing more to the game. It's like Zelda: Wind Waker with all of the dungeons and towns removed. What's left are the most boring parts of the game (the 10-15 minutes of travel from one place to the next) and the most exciting parts of the game (fighting the boss).
It's fun. It's beautiful. It's an experience. But it's all highly, highly overrated.
#6. Crash Bandicoot - Playstation Most of the games on this list are good, but not great. Crash, on the other hand, always has been and always will be a horrible video game. First and foremost, Crash is a me-too mascot platformer in the vein of good ole Sonic the Hedgehog. However, while Sonic introduced speed and attitude to the gaming landscape, Crash simply added claustrophobia to the 3D platformer genre. While his contemporaries, most notably Mario 64 and NiGHTS, were encouraging freedom of motion, Crash was busy restricting your movement to a tunnel that was about 3 Crash's tall by 3 Crash's wide. It was like playing Rayman 2 inside of a sewer. Only less fun.
#5. Mortal Kombat - variousAh yes, Mortal Kombat. One of a gazillion Street Fighter 2-wannabes. It stood out from the crowd for one and only reason - the "fatality." With this new game feature, Mortal Kombat enabled thirteen-year olds everywhere to literally rip each other's heads off. It was the game that launched the ESRB rating system. The game that exposed Nintendo's censorship practices. The game that legitimized palette swapping as a way of adding more playable characters. Oh, and by the way, it was a downright lousy fighting game.
#4. Resident Evil - Playstation 1To me, Resident Evil was an early 3D action game (read: early = awful) with a fresh new premise, that of survival-horror. I'll admit, playing Resident Evil was a trip - a downright frightening experience. But upon close inspection, any reasonable person will have to admit that the game affixed to that experience is pretty awful.
First and foremost is the infamous tank-like control scheme. The combination of these controls with a fixed camera and variable camera placement made for some of the most frustrating game mechanics ever, especially during RE's numerous tense moments. Without a doubt, this game would have been far more enjoyable as a point-and-click adventure rather than the pseudo-action game that it tried to be.
Less famous but equally horrible was the game's overall poor design. It amounted to a series of nonsensical fetch-quests and lame puzzle-solving. I mean come on...why in the world would a crack covert ops team need to pick locks or find a door key while searching through an abandoned mansion. Kick the darn door down! Shoot the doorknob off! Are you kidding me?
#3. Sonic the Hedgehog - GenesisEven the most diehard Sonic fan has to admit, in his heart of hearts, that the gameplay in the original is incredibly shallow. He has one move for crying out loud. Jump! Sure, the level designs were good, but for its sheer size (or lack thereof) Sonic the Hedgehog has to be regarded as a fun diversion when compared to its nemesis and chief rival, the mighty Super Mario World. Sonic's twenty-one "acts" simply do not measure up in quantity nor quality to SMW's 96 levels.
No, the continued popularity of this title has less to do with its quality than with its titular character. Like Lara and her polygonal push-up bra, Sonic's fame can primarily be attributed to his toe tapping, bad boy attitude. He was followed by a veritable flood of copycats, from Sparkster (an opossum), to Earthworm Jim (yeah, a worm), to Cool Spot (the 7UP mascot), to Awesome Possum (another opossum) all the way down to Crash Bandicoot (whatever that is). In terms of fun factor, many of his wannabes actually managed to outdo to ole Blue Bomber. It has been said that one of the criterion of greatness is that you are "oft imitated but never duplicated". In that regard, Sonic fails miserably. And that, my friends, is why Sonic is so high up on this list.
#2. Final Fantasy VII - Playstation I hate this game. Not because it's bad, mind you, but because it is not deserving of all the praise it has received over the years. For the life of me I cannot understand why it has placed in the top 3 of virtually every significant "best games ever" list of the past decade. Again, FFVII isn't a bad game. Bebe's Kids for the SNES was a bad game. But FFVII is all flash and no sizzle. All style with no substance. In more technical terms, it's plagued by horrendous loadtimes, too-frequent random battles, too-long battles, a small roster of playable characters, and a mundane, last-generation battle system. Yes, it ushered in the era of 3D RPGs, but its legacy also includes obnoxious story elements such as the teenage anti-hero brimming with teen angst. We also have FFVII to thank for the gender-bending character designs that continue to plague the RPG genre. And for the seemingly endless FMV sequences. Thanks, but I'll pass.
In my book, FFVI was the "Final" Fantasy.
...And now, for the most overrated, most undeserving game of all time!!!!
#1. Every game ever made for the original Game Boy That's right. All 626 of these turds can rot in a landfill for all I care. Have you pulled out your old Game Boy recently? Playing any game on it is like staring through a tank of lemonade at a 2-inch black-and-white TV screen on a bright summer day in Phoenix while listening to a broken music box and holding a brick in both hands. How in the world did Nintendo manage to convince us to use this system, much less sell us 1 billion of these games?
Now I realize that it's a bit unfair to blame the software. The real culprit here may be the toaster that we played them on. But even so, every single game on the system is forgettable.
- Super Mario Land? Is that Mario or a flea? And is he really piloting a submarine?
- Donkey Kong Land? Either I need glasses or it's my Game Boy that's seeing double.
- Metroid II? AH, a Metroid with legs! AH, a Metroid that floats like a jellyfish!
- Tetris? Tetris is now on approximately 3 million platforms. This is the second-worst platform to play it on.
- Zelda: Link's Awakening? Actually, this is probably the one and only exception to the rule. This game was pretty darn good.
Long story short, when the DS was released it did not feature backwards compatibility to the Game Boy. Finally, we had met the day when these games would no longer haunt us. Good night, and good riddance to the most overrated 625-chapter "game" of all time.
So there you have it - my painstakingly researched list of the most overrated games ever. May they rest in peace, and may people recognize them for what they truly are, and not for what they believe them to be.
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