Rules of Utah driving

After living in Utah for 5 months Cara and I are finally going to get our driver's licenses. We haven't gone to get them yet because we're worried about failing the written test. There seem to be so many new driving rules to learn!

So to prepare, we're studying up on the surprisingly large number of Utah-only driving rules. Here are a few of them:

1. On a 4 lane highway, the speed limit is also the minimum allowed speed. The expected speeds for each lane are, from right to left: +0mph, +5mph, +15mph, Mach2, and +0 in the carpool lane.
2. When a car passes you on the left, immediately speed up by 5mph greater than the speed of the would-be passer.
3. A Red light is actually Yellow for its first 3 seconds.
4. Lines drawn in the parking lot are completely arbitrary and thus ought to be ignored. Feel free to invent your own driving lanes.
5. Backing out of a parking spot is dangerous - don't do it unless you absolutely must. Instead, pull forward.
6. Neighborhood roads are very wide one-lane roads.
7. Construction zones are annoying. Get through them as quickly as possible.
8. The appropriate amount of following distance is calculated thus: 0-80mph = 1 foot per 10 mph; 81+mph = 1 car length per Mach #.
9. When a car's turning signal comes on, that is a clear indicator that the car's driver thinks you are a sissy. Immediately accelerate to close the gap between you and the car in front of you and show the other driver who the sissy is now.
10. Don't ever use your signal. People will think you're a sissy.
11. Pedestrians never have the right of way. Imagine they are orange cones. This makes every parking lot become a slalom course.
12. Your half of the center is my "buffer zone."
13. Always use the left lanes to pass. Or the right lanes.
14. When in doubt, weave.